


People (And Things) Tony DiNozzo Attempted To Arrest

by Kateri



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, NCIS, Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Humor, Multiple Crossovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3622026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kateri/pseuds/Kateri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Considering he tried to arrest a Mossad Assassin who wouldn't Tony try to arrest?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Evil (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

Due mostly to his habit of working in the office at midnight Tony was the first NCIS agent on the scene after the tip came in on the missing girl. It wasn't a case that Gibbs's team was working on but Tony was familiar with the details. Teen-aged Marine daughter missing, odd emails and phone calls, no solid leads, possibly a run away. When he arrived at the house though, with the house lights blazing and the front windows busted outward, Tony called for back-up before entering with his gun drawn. The sight that greeted him was not something Tony would have ever expected to see. The interior of the house looked like a large scale assault had been launched with the living room being the most damaged. It was there that a familiar, yet impossible, figure stood over the still living, but injured, teen-aged girl.

Tony glared at the Paula look alike standing smugly over the bleeding girl in the middle of the storm of destruction.

“Freeze! NCIS!” Tony shouted “Keep your hands where I can see then, step away from the girl, and identify yourself.”

“Why Tony you know who I am, in fact I’m someone that you can’t forget no matter what you do, someone that you can never forgive yourself for.” The Fake!Paula answered in a simpering sing-song type of way that Tony knew the real Paula never would have used.

Slowly making his way over the girl, Tony made sure to never take his eyes or his weapon off of the impostor who was now spouting some weird religious sounding riddles about evil and time and being first. Once he was sure that the girl seemed mostly okay despite the blood and destruction around her Tony stood and pulled his handcuffs out. Holding them up he waving them at the doppelganger. 

"I'm placing you under arrest for impersonating a federal agent"

That wiped the smug look off its face "I am the First, you can't arrest me" it stated, looking almost confused. 

"My Boss would beg to differ so I'm going to go ahead and try"


	2. Lilith (Supernatural)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has enough problems with kids already without them being demonic.

When they had first responded to the abuse call Tony had thought it an easy open and shut case of abuse, or at least child endangerment. The parents were obviously as loonytoons as the man they had hired to perform an ‘exorcism’ on their young daughter. Three hours into his ‘protection’ detail of the girl while Gibbs and the others handled the suspects though Tony was beginning to feel a bit more understanding and sympathetic toward the three loonies. 

At first it was just the staring with her creepy eyes that Tony was sure went all white once. Then she started the humming and childish singing. Tony was ashamed to admit that he tuned out the words at first not really wanting to listen to kids songs, but round about the third chorus about death, dismemberment and gutting someone named Winchester Tony began to edge further away from the curly haired six year old. He wasn’t all that great with kids but he was pretty sure that, along with the very creepy smile and funky voice, wasn't normal for someone her age.

"You are by far the creepiest marine spawn I have ever had to deal with," the NCIS agent commented trying to edge away even more from the 6 year old girl.

She just smiled up at Tony reminding him of a shark and said “I’m going to enjoy bathing in all of your friends’ blood in front of you. I can tell that your grief and pain would be incredibly sweet.”

Tony had his handcuffs out and a hand on his service weapon before he was even aware of moving.

“I’m placing you under arrest for threatening the lives of Federal Agents and for being creepier than even Abby’s stalker.” Tony said gingerly making his way over to the now frowning Thing-That-Looked-Like-A-Child.

“I am Lilith, I obey no law of man or God, only Lucifer. You can not arrest me.” She stated, almost pouting.

“And I obey only Gibbs and he doesn’t like it when people, that is assuming you are a person because this is kinda reminding me of Omen just a little too much for my comfort all that is missing is a nanny, threaten his agents so yeah put your hands behind your head and no funny business.”


End file.
